Yield

Recovering from dose 5 of Ixempra at home.  I'm not as sick or exhausted at dose 4, which is a relief.  Last time I spent 4 days in bed with netflix watching every episode of Doc Martin -- a British dramedy.  By the end I felt like a villager of Cornwall.  I'm self paying for what's called a Circulating Tumor Cell blood test that Dr. C follows.  My HMO wont cover it.  It's a bit wonky, but they count the actual number of cancer cells in the blood to figure how active the cancer is in spreading.  The other tests the CEA and CA-15 measure serums secreted by cancer cells as they multiply.  The private lab mistakenly destroyed my blood sample and I had to go back in to give another blood draw.  frackin' annoying.  Luckily my favorite nurse David was there to do the draw.  I'm taking it slow, trying to get as much as I can from my days, walks, baking, trying new recipes, learning French.  A woman in my support group is  dying.  She's going to hospice.  She's 41, at the most.  My heart is broken for her and her family.  If I think about it too hard I go into a panic attack about my own situation.  She was also on Ixempra, but it couldn't stop her cancer.  This crap is so damned unfair.  Everything can be taken away from you fast, even if you fight like hell.  Deep breath.