Day 17 of 25 - a tardy update

I've let the entire weekend go by without writing about my Friday treatment. I've been going nonstop, which has felt great and kept me from having a little pity party. Treatment itself was the usual, except I went into the Sequoia room instead of the Tahoe one. A new set of RTs. I missed mine. I hope the switch is temporary. I again listened to guided imagery. In the afternoon I met with a UCSF doc for opinions on my treatment and then had a fun dinner at Vanessa and Josh's to welcome Moshe back from Greece. Vanessa and I hit the Vintage Paper Fair on Saturday like a cyclone. Got many amazing things. Later an art opening. Then Sunday, all day at a seminar for Sustainable MBA program. I can't believe I made it through and had a great weekend. Maybe I'll post some of the paper treasures I found tomorrow. They are super cool. Baseball cards from the teens, postcards from the 40's, 1950's Mademoiselles, a very strange Milton Bradley game called Bradley's Eskimo Village from 1920. My skin is very red and needing lots of attention.

Day 10 of 25

Vanessa was sweet enough to take me to treatment today. She is a special guest on the blog. It was interesting to read someone else's perspective on my small, secretive world of treatment. The facility is in such a quiet part of South San Francisco, you feel like you're sneaking up to the building. Today was x-ray day, to ensure my body is lining up the same as the original plan for treatment. The LINAC machine does it all. It turns clockwise until the x-ray arm is to my left. Then it turns counter clockwise and administers my radiation. Probably because I was with Vanessa and she's such a creative inspiration, I was thinking about interesting ways to document the treatment. It's so hard to describe. Should I film it with my own camera? Would they let me set one up in the Tahoe Room? What am i willing to publicly expose? Whether or not anyone reads the blog. I have my weekly appointment with my Radiation Oncologist, so I can ask for permission then. If I think I'll really do it. After treatment, Vanessa and I had a lovely lunch of yellow split pees and squash. Then we went for a peaceful walk on a Pacifica trail. The sky was an opaque grey and the forest - mossy and wet. we saw in this order, deer, a small, grey bunny and a beautiful bobcat. He was sitting in a field, observing. He seemed magical.

Day 8 of 25

TGI Christmas. I have the day off tomorrow. My hubby Ned took me to my appointment today, which had me more relaxed. He maintains a calm demeanor when he takes me to these things, whether or not he believes it. It's getting easier to do the appointment on cruise control. A hello to the receptionist, she unlocks the door. I leave my loved one in the lobby. Walk past a few nurses stations, if I catch their eye I get a cheery hello. past the mens' waiting/changing room to the ladies. Pick a locker -- I'm always trying to get #3 for some reason. grab a hospital gown and change. If I'm cold, I can take from a pile of scratchy, sterile blankets. I often opt to wear my down vest instead. I sit and wait for my escort to the Tahoe Room and back. Some of the patients have formed very friendly relationships with the staff. I still keep to my self.

Smiles from the other patients-- we know we can only relate to each other once we enter from the lobby. whether we want to swap stories is another thing. After radiation today we fought it out at Whole Foods for our xmas eve and day ingredients. We're hosting both. Ned is doing most of the cooking. A bright San Francisco day. I'm drinking my new obsession -- coconut juice. I'll bundle up for a walk in a few minutes. A bientot!

Day 6 of 25

A clear brisk day, my appointment was at 9:30 AM for the last time today. I move to my requested 10:45 am slot tomorrow. Someone must have had his last radiation day today. The cheery knitter was in the ladies waiting room again, all smiles. She was wearing some of her creations -- very yarn-y. On my way to the Tahoe Room for my treatment I noticed that they had decorated each steel door to the 4 treatment rooms as giant wrapped presents. It was strange to see the door closed on the other room -- sealed tight to protect others from the radiation-- with a huge red bow. Again so far the worst of it is the pushing and rolling of my body on the table to get me in place, then the clear glue sheets taped to my chest. Then I'm all alone in my sealed room while the LINAC circles my body making strange noises. That last part is very sci-fi. As I am escorted back in my daze to the ladies waiting room I see the nurses hanging stockings with each staff member's name on the hallway rails meant to steady sick patients. After treatment I took mom to the King Tut exhibit at the De Young -- I feel very connected to the ancient Egyptians and have been doing some collages with their imagery. Some art therapy if you will.