Second, I decided to push for Dr. C's recommendation no matter what my local Onc. said.
It was a weird meeting with my local onc., I brought my hubby, because I have a kind of Stockholm Syndrome. I don't trust my local doc and believe she hasn't given the best advice (these things are so fuzzy in cancer treatment). but, I want to believe and trust her, we've been through so much together. So, she can effortlessly plant seeds of real doubt in my mind.
I walked out of the meeting in confusion and doubting my choice to follow Dr. C's plan. On the other hand, Ned thought she hadn't made a good case to follow her treatment plan, he was un-moved.
Amazing how we had two totally different pictures of how the meeting went down. And more personally how I'm not in the position of strength. I am a lawyer by training and have always been the calm, pragmatic person in a contentious meeting. But when it's about me, I only hear about 40 percent of what's being said and then I'm swept away in a panic wave. I hope I made the right decision, but I've gotta go with the world famous doctor.
So now I am getting Doxil monthly, for the next three months with a scan in December to see if we're holding my disease at bay. The drug is not as strong as the Ixempra/Zelota cocktail so I should start to feel better. And, joy!, my hair will start to come back in.
We had to cancel a trip to paris this month, I was too exhausted go and my neurapthy was increasing -- numbness and pain in the hands and feet. A side effect of the Ixempra. It made me very sad to cancel, Ned and I were so looking forward to it.
To cheer us up, I threw a little French dinner party last night. Beaucoup des fromages, vins, et Absinthe. I baked madeleines, Ned made Coq au Vin. C'etait superb. Merci mes amis.
3 comments:
This Anonymous has been away for awhile (not prison). I missed you most of all.
You describe so well what it's like to be at a doctor appointment -- also that "What happened?" feeling when exiting.
I'm very sorry you couldn't go to Paris this time.
Melissa, This is Janet and I am a friend of your sister in-law Jenny. We met once a long time ago when Jenny and I traveled to NYC. She shared your blog site with me so I signed on. I am very sorry you are on this journey. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 4 years ago and live with it as a chronic illness, a managed disease, after being told I had 6 months to a year with chemo. I completely understand your feelings about your docs and my husband and I often leave appts having heard completely different things. I wish you the best and if you'd like to write or talk Jenny has my info.
Hey, some of us don't speak French, but I think you're saying something about missing your bus after catching a chicken. Next time please try to be more clear, but congratulations about the chicken--- they can be pretty quick.
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