The Great Peel

This week ended with me feeling completely exhausted. I’m feeling much better than last week and every day I can do a bit more. My skin is now more sunburned pink than crimson and the great peel seems half way through.

But my mind is scattered and tired. Yesterday I withdrew from an MBA program I started on my last day of radiation. One of my dear friends who I went to law school with questioned my sanity for enrolling. All I can say is it seemed like a good idea at the time. But between my uncompleted accounting assignments and the painful team building exercises, I knew I had to put on the brakes. As you can imagine, as I was recovering B-school homework was the very last thing I wanted to do—right next to my taxes and a dental scraping. The school is one of those new “green” mba’s – people, planet, profits – but in practice it was hard to give a shit whether Wal-Mart uses energy efficient bulbs or how the carbon cap and trade market will work. The students were so enthused and I could hardly fake it. True to my overachieving self, I simultaneously signed up for some classes at City College. In art history, studio art classes and I’m debating a writing one. I really want to stay in bed for another week. I was supposed to have my scheduled scans this week—about every three months I need a bone scan and a CT scan. Yes, they’re as horrible as they sound. I can’t sugar coat it. But I so desperately need a breather from the hospital, I’ve put them off for another 2 weeks. Hopefully my sweet hubby and I can take a trip.

Everyone's reading Deep Exhale

After a painful and tiring week, I am feeling better. My skin has moved into a new phase I call "the Great Peel" which is an icky wet peel of the skin. It's itchy, but not keyed up nerve endings pulling at my pain receptors. I haven't hit the balance in the last few days. There's a fine line with fatigue when you're ill. Sometimes exercise is the best counter -- a good walk in the Pacifica Forest with Vanessa it leaves you feeling refreshed, or, it leaves you dog tired and puffy eyed. I often feel bone tired. But it's been a sweet relief not to go to the hospital for a few days. I have some crappy tests I need to take-- a CT Scan and a Bone Scan. I have to take them every 3 months. But I just cant face them this week. I'm too worn out for 2 injection scans. And more importantly I just don't have it together mentally if there are results I have to deal with and strategize. I need to drink at least 3 tall glasses of water before I get into bed tonight. Thanks to my kiki for warming up the keyboard for me.